


Evolve

by RB (BlueflowersandWings)



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Don't copy to another site, Dream Sequence, Emotions, Lonely Meng Shao Fei, M/M, Magic, Magical Realism, Non-Graphic Violence, Sad with a Happy Ending, background jack x zhao zi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:28:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21744526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueflowersandWings/pseuds/RB
Summary: "Why areyouhere? Where is Shao Fei?""...Tang Yi, I'm sorry."On most fitful nights, Tang Yi dreams- of Shao Fei. In the midst of this lonely, aimless period, those dreams remind him of all the good and beautiful things he was too close to losing in his life.Meng Shao Fei likes to dream, too- on most nights, about Tang Yi. In the midst of the chaos that comes with the life of a police officer, Tang Yi's dreams feel realer to Shao Fei than his reality itself. Scarily so.(Or, snippets of their life together, during Tang Yi's sentence; where Tang Yi and Meng Shao Fei are connected, deeper than they know. But when they do realise themselves, maybe it's just a little too late.)
Relationships: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	Evolve

**Author's Note:**

> This story was partly inspired by the phone exchange between Tang Guo Dong and Chen Wen Hao when the latter was in jail. I also hold the absolutely awesome, addictive storyline of History 3: Trapped responsible for inspiring me to start writing a fanfic again. 
> 
> The story's divided into four parts: 'Goodbye', 'Wait', 'Jealousy', and 'Together', with an Interlude in between.
> 
> This is the longest story I have ever written, and it can be a pretty complex and confusing piece, but I hope everyone gives this a chance, and enjoys it! See you downstairs!! :))

**1) This isn't goodbye. It really isn't, and it'll never be. It just feels too much like it.**

  


"Say, Tang Yi... When you get out of here, could we return to what we were before?"

"Do you have any reason to doubt it?"

.

.

  


**i.**

_The tears clung to his skin like tiny solid crystals, his breath a whisper, eyes a pool of inky black pain, his jet-black hair a scattered mess over the softly-puffed pillows. His body bent over Shao Fei's own, Tang Yi shifted, adjusted his arms; framed the face of his partner in the gentlest hold he could muster. Shao Fei shivered, cold- and slowly, Tang Yi's lips were filled with the taste of spice, crystal and gunpowder, so reminiscent of the one he associated with his lover in his most secret, private moments._

_"Tang Yi," Shao Fei whispered, his voice cracked, pitched impossibly low. "Tang Yi, please... Don't leave. Don't leave me ever again."_

_Tang Yi moved, silent. Effortlessly, he lifted himself up to kiss away the salt and sweat beading Shao fei's forehead. "Don't be so sure of yourself," he dreamt himself saying. "Have I ever broken a promise to you before?"_

_His partner closed his eyes. Even under the dim, wispy lights, even in Tang Yi's dreams, Meng Shao Fei looked like the most beautiful person in the world._

.

.

  


**ii.**

He was late. Meng Shao Fei was so, so _late_.

  


Lowly, Tang Yi sighed; glanced once at the clock pinned far down the corridor, then resumed twirling his fingers again. Shao Fei was late for their appointment. Like, okay- it was normal for people to be late; maybe once in a blue moon, maybe due to some work or urgency- Tang Yi got it. In his previous life as a mob leader, he had tethered on the edges of unpunctuality due to last-minute troubles or complications quite regularly. He understood the idea that a person could be late, to any sort of meeting, for a number of reasons- but this was Meng Shao Fei they were talking about, and his case was different.

Meng Shao Fei was not a punctual person, not by a long shot. But when it came to matters between themselves, he was _never_ late.

 **(** Around this place, he almost had a notoriety for being _too early_ , and Tang Yi would be lying if he said he was bothered by it. **)**

Deftly, Tang Yi twisted his fingers, flexed the digits inside and out. Brushing back the messy hair falling on his forehead, he looked up at the bright blue sky, a crack of a frown marring his face, lowly whispering: 

"Meng Shao Fei, where the _hell_ are you?"

  


**(** _The tears clung to Shao Fei's skin like tiny solid crystals, and it was a sight Tang Yi could never get out of his head, even if he wanted to._ **)**

.

.

  


"So, how're you holding up here?"

  


Tang Yi smirked, languidly leaning back on his chair. Despite his carefully callous tone, Shao Fei's pale features were wrinkled with crease-lines of worry, and he was doing a remarkably poor job at concealing them. He'd never been very adept at hiding his emotions, but this time, maybe he didn't even want to.

 **(** Honestly, when it came to _them_ , Tang Yi didn't want to have to hide anything too- even his emotions. Shao Fei was just that special. **)**

"If _that's_ your attempt at sounding casual," he teases his visitor through the phone, "then you better stop. I've seen you being carefree, and you're doing a terrible job at it."

The wide, toothy grin dropped from Shao Fei's face at once, his answering scowl deepening the prominent creases on his forehead. "What?" he asked, voice gruff, phone pressed viciously against his cheek. "Can't a guy just act strong in front of his boyfriend for once?"

Tang Yi raised a challenging brow at that, and leaned almost loftily backwards. His own receiver held between light fingers, he replied, "Oh? And what happened to being an advocate of emotional expression all this time?" He grinned a touch, and grinned some more when Shao Fei slightly reddened. "Don't you think you're going against your cause by displaying such a lame excuse of a poker face?"

"Hey!" Shao Fei exclaimed, loud enough for his voice to travel through the bare glass. "I- I have a _great_ poker face, okay? I'm a police officer, of course I'm good at that! It's just, whenever you're around, I- I just..."

Tang Yi smirked. "What, lose your confidence?" His partner was sometimes just too easy to fluster. 

Shao Fei straightened in his seat, suddenly, and countered Tang Yi's gaze with his own firm one. " _Charm_ ," he replied, voice haughty and quite naturally self-assured, just how Tang Yi remembered it. "I used up all of my charm to get you, so now I need to gather it all again. If anything, it's _your_ fault- so own up and take responsibility, Tang Yi."

"You have a strange way of saying you like me, Shao Fei," Tang Yi replied, eyes crinkling with a closed smile, gaze expectant. _Wait for it, wait for it_ \- and a second later, watches the way the tenseness crumbled away from Shao Fei's shoulders, his body relaxing, features softening up imperceptibly. 

"Learnt it from you," Shao Fei grins, and under the bright, glaring prison lights, in Tang Yi's eyes, he looks like the most beautiful person in the world.

  


**(** This was a strange thing; a strange thing they did, a strange thing he felt, and a thing he knew Shao Fei felt, too. Every two and a half weeks, Tang Yi would sit alert in his cell, sleepless eyes bright, tired body eager to meet and be close to the one person he probably valued most in this world. Every two and a half weeks, Shao Fei would clamber restlessly through the impending prison doors, dressed his casual-best, and they would just sit, on either side of the glass- phones in hand, bantering yet silent; close, but with an impossible distance between them. They would look at each other, and talk- maybe a little, maybe too much, just like how their predecessors once did, in far history.

Their roles were slightly different now, their relationship a touch deeper; but not unlike Tang Guo Dong and Chen Wen Hao, Tang Yi and Shao Fei would sit silent under the glaring prison lights, simply looking at each other. And each time Shao Fei got up, to reluctantly leave, a smile on his lips that bared the pain in his eyes, Tang Yi would wait, for another two and a half _excruciating_ weeks, to experience that kind of serenity again.

Maybe Shao Fei could feel that, too- that impatience, that restlessness bubbling under his skin that Tang Yi had to live with every minute, every second of the day. Because that one time when his visits to the prison- _twice_ a week- became too frequent to be called a coincidence, he didn't even bother to lie. He straight up confessed that he missed Tang Yi, too much to bear- only not with his words. Never with his words.

It has been a while, but Tang Yi feels that Shao Fei has become less talkative than how he was a year and a half before. It's a pity, really- because Shao Fei's words were one of the things Tang Yi loved most about him, aside from everything else that he already was. **)**

  


.

  


**iii.**

"Shao Fei."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"That thing you asked me yesterday... about us. About our future. Why did you think something like that?"

"...Oh, that. It was nothing. Forget about it, Tang Yi."

"Say it."

"I told you, it's nothing. Don't worry about that. It just occurred to me, and I asked. Nothing more."

"..."

"..."

"Shao Fei?"

"Yeah?"

"When I get out of here, we'll go somewhere. Somewhere far... for a vacation, together. Wait for me until then."

"...That's what I've been doing all this time, Tang Yi. You won't get rid of me that easily. Not when I'm still alive."

  


_I know. Thank you, Shao Fei._

.

.

**iv. **  
****

********

********

The last time they had talked like this was three weeks ago. Shao Fei had not visited him for _three_ whole weeks, and he was very, _very_ late. And very unlike himself. Tang Yi sighed. Maybe some things did change in the small span of one and a half years. Were bound to change, sometime or the other.

He twisted his hands, sighed a deep breath. Messed up his hair, and combed it down again. Looked at the clock pinned far down the corridor, and counted the infinite lines wrinkling his shirt for the umpteenth time.

Finally, when the visiting hours came and went by for the twenty-second day in a row, he pressed his hands close to his face, and exhaled.

"Meng Shao Fei, just where the _hell_ are you?"

  


  
_-_

  


**2) I'm not tired of waiting- I never was was, and won't ever be. It's just that this wait is killing me. Literally.**

  


"You know, I had a dream about you last night."

"Oh Yeah?" _Me too._ " What was I doing there?" _I have them every night. About you._

"...Crying. I wonder why you cry in all of them, Shao Fei."

  


.

.

**i.**

There was.. a development. Quite an absurd development, if he's being honest; but recently, Meng Shao Fei felt strangely reluctant to visit the prison anymore. And for once, it had nothing to do with Tang Yi.

  


Mabye _reluctant_ wasn't the right term. Yes, the workload pressure these days was quite high, resulting in countless all-nighters and rushed case-file presentations; but recently, Meng Shao Fei felt _afraid_ to visit Tang Yi, however strange it sounded- because he knew it only got harder from there. Harder and harder. Like a steep mountain slope with no peak, like a free falling snowflake engulfed into the endless pits of the underworld; Shao Fei knew that each time he visited, leaving Tang Yi behind, all by himself in his dark, lonely cell, became exponentially harder than the last. It was hard to stare into his eyes and keep still, harder to look at the clock ticking beside and declare that it was time for yet another goodbye. It was hard to put down the receiver, to wave and turn his back on him with a smile; hard to maintain that smile against the battle cry of unshed tears, and harder still to keep walking home, waiting for the time when visiting the prison next wouldn't seem too often to his colleagues and Tang Yi.

Honestly, because of the erratic ways his visits seemed to increase in frequency, Shao Fei almost doubted if Tang Yi didn't get annoyed seeing his face so many times in a row.

Out of all the things Shao Fei's faced in his life, this waiting was the hardest of all. The toughest of all obstacles. He had waited for one and a half years, was waiting still; and instead of the anticipation he'd initially felt while walking to meet Tang Yi, his trips to the prison nowadays were dreading, morose, because he knew the goodbyes later killed him. Literally. Both the goodbyes, and the empty, soulless mansion he returned to, a lively place once printed with Tang Yi's heady smell at every corner. Tang Yi had took up so much space in his life, so much without his awareness- now that he was gone, nothing felt quite normal anymore.

It was supposed to get easier with time, the pain supposed to grow dimmed; and yet, as the days went by, more was the helplessness that twisted his guts, rioted through his mind, trying to kill him inside and out.

 _God_ , he still had another one and a half years left to wait. How was he even going to survive?

Life was just plain hard without Tang Yi, and he couldn't deal with it anymore. Shao Fei was honestly _done_.

.

.

  


**ii.**

_"Tang Yi!"_

  


_Tang Yi turned, his wind-swept hair ruffled madly overhead. **Shao Fei** , he seemed to whisper, but to no avail; Shao Fei couldn't hear him. He just couldn't, and he didn't know why. They were just here, so close together, chasing each other around in a weirdly familiar forest. They were just here before, smiling and laughing and waltzing past a bloody gunfight, hand in hand, lips pressed with not a breath in between. They were together again, after so many days, months, years, and nothing mattered anymore. After a long, long time, Shao Fei was truly happy, with Tang Yi, and he couldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world. He just wouldn't._

_But then, something happened._

_One minute, they were here; bodies close, fingers entwined, his lips caressing Tang Yi's brow with the gentlest kisses. In the next, there they were; their bodies metres apart, hands empty, lips pried apart with shock and longing. When before they had been glued together, now they stood staring at each other, from two opposite sides of a glass wall. Their surroundings blurred, the breeze silent, Shao Fei stared at Tang Yi, aghast. His feet were heavy as rocks, eyes dumbstruck, an impossible distance separating them, and suddenly, they couldn't even speak. Or rather, Shao Fei couldn't hear Tang Yi' anymore._

_Had he really lost his hearing, or was this world made of glass playing tricks on him?_

_Tongue-tied, hand moving mechanically, Shao Fei gently picked up the phone placed in front of him. He pressed a blinking button, held the receiver against his ear; and on the other side, saw Tang Yi picking up his own ringing telephone._

_"Tang Yi?" he mumbled, voice low and unsure. "How are you holding up?"_

_Tang Yi blinked, surprised. "What do you mean?" he asked, and God, had his voice always been that comforting before?_

_"Tang Yi," his voice trembled, a tear trickling its way down his cheek. He didn't know why, but he terribly wanted to cry. "Tang Yi, why did you leave? Why did you leave me here, alone?"_

_Tang Yi stared at him through the glass for a long, long time. He looked at Shao Fei as if he was looking at him for the very first time; then, like a crash of realisation stabbing him, he pressed the phone roughly to his ears and replied, "Shao Fei, wait for me. Just- wait. When I get out of here, we're going on a long, faraway vacation."_

_Shao Fei's breath stilled._

 _Tang Yi just made a promise with him. A promise of a future, a promise of eternity._

  


_**Why do I feel like I've heard that before?** _

  


_"No."_

_But Shao Fei was done with promises. He was done waiting in a life without Tang Yi, even for Tang Yi himself._

_"No" he repeated, and then shouted through the phone, voice hoarse, eyes streaming, an impulsive fist denting an invisible crack into the glass with a furious punch. "No, I WON'T WAIT! I AM DONE WAITING FOR YOU, TANG YI, I'M SO DONE! I AM NOT WAITING HERE FOR YOU, AND YOU'RE NOT STAYING THERE! I NEED YOU HERE, AND YOU WILL COME BACK! COME BACK HERE, TANG YI, JUST COME BACK! I NEED YOU TO- I-"_

_"Shao Fei, I promis-"_

_"STOP MAKING PROMISES- LET'S JUST BE TOGETHER! COME BACK HERE, TANG YI-"_

_On the other side of the glass, in Tang Yi's world, a loud gunshot reverberated. As if in sync, the breeze picked up the moment Tang Yi's body crumpled to the ground; and before he could shout out, cry his voice to incoherence, the glass between them cracked, and Shao Fei's colourless world came crumbling down upon him._

_  
_

"TANG YI!"

Voice cracked, breath erratic, Meng Shao Fei woke up on his bed with sweaty limbs and bloodshot eyes. Smudging the tear tracks roughly from his cheeks, he sat up and slumped forward, the blankets bunching around his lap. His lungs screamed for oxygen, vision blurring; shaking his head, he panted, trying to coerce his consciousness back to reality. A drop of moisture fell from his eye and mixed with the sweat on his cheeks, and as if on impulse, Shao Fei covered his face with his hands and screamed.

He screamed, and then he screamed some more. He didn't get a chance in his dream, but in this reality, he screamed his voice to incoherence.

His head throbbed, his heart hurt, his body felt like revolting; if this were just a few months before, Shao Fei would've laughed imagining himself like this. So broken, and so easily hurt; it wasn't him. He wasn't a person who gave up, who felt so hurt so easily. He was strong and loud and awfully persistent- but that was a younger him before Tang Yi's sentence. The Meng Shao Fei he knew now was sad and stupid and emotional; he was vulnerable, quick to loneliness and jealousy, and wasn't the one who carried other people and stuck to his promises. He was a Shao Fei he couldn't recognise himself, and if he _had_ adjusted with his situation, even a little, crying in his bed like a scared little child.

He wasn't the one who once swore to wait for Tang Yi to make it up to him; he wasn't the same strong Shao Fei who could endure bullets and gunfights, but was slightly scared to break his thumb to get out of his own handcuffs. He wasn't _him_ , and he didn't like it. He didn't like this version of himself, so weak and unpredictable, so stupidly selfish, and he didn't know what to _do_.

His eyes burned, body slumping over itself. He'd never cried this hard, cried at all, in _years_. He had never let himself.

It was painful dying in a dream, but it hurt more when a person alive in his reality died in one of them. It made him doubt his dream and his consciousness, the vague boundary between it all, and that wasn't something he wanted to struggle with almost halfway waiting through Tang Yi's sentence.

His hands trembled; he missed Tang Yi. _God_ , he missed him so, so much.

  


.

.

  


**iii.**

"Meng Shao Fei," Tang Yi demanded, before he even picked the receiver up properly. "Where the _hell_ have you been for the last four weeks?"

  


Wincing, Shao Fei slumped into his seat, slowly rested the phone beside his ear. Unlike his previous visits, the mood today was a palpably tense, and unsurprisingly. On usual days, Tang Yi would have a slight bounce in his step, a quiet smile playing on his lips as he eased down across Shao Fei, the guard standing rigid a little away. On usual days, they'd get into a chat about the most random of things, or a comfortable silence would prevail, shared mutually over the telephone line. Today, however, Tang Yi had a stern mask over his face, not a trace of a smirk anywhere, eyes holding Shao Fei's in a cold, compelling gaze. His voice was rough and harsh, like how it became when he was angry or frustrated, but confused about the source. He looked like a thundercloud, ready to unleash a storm; but Shao Fei had known him for long, and he hadn't changed enough to get scared of him like this.

 **(** He'd never _actually_ been scared of him, to be honest; but after last night's meltdown, maybe he slightly was. Scared _for_ Tang Yi- a most ridiculous notion, he knows. **)**

"Tang Yi, I'm sorry," Shao Fei replied, in the most sincere voice he could muster. Tang Yi's face didn't stir, but that was to be expected. "We've been investigating a young drug circle for the past few months, and recently, we've tracked an increase in their activities. I've been busy all this time, pulling all-nighters and commanding the unit, so.. I just didn't have the time. To visit. You... understand right? My situation?"

Tang Yi remained silent, stubborn as ever, if only touch sulking. Shao Fei sighed. "Tang Yi." His words came out soft, pleading, to which the other finally relaxed his shoulders.

"I get it," Tang Yi conceded, finally. "But I'm still mad. You could've come at least _once_ , Shao Fei."

" _Tang Yi_ ," Shao Fei leaned closer, one hand touching the glass, reaching out for Tang Yi's, the other cradling the receiver impossibly close to his ear. "Tang Yi, I'm sorry, I really am," his voice was apologetic, words like a tape kept on rewind. "I'm sorry for this, and I promise it's not going to happen again. Just- just give me some time, okay? Let me sort this case out, and I'll visit you everyday if I can, I swear."

Tang Yi crossed his arms, and closed his eyes; let out a tired, defeated breath, dark circles glowing stark against his pale, weary eyelids. 

"Don't say what you can't do," he replied, gaze turning soft and guilty. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you. I know you had work."

"It's okay," Shao Fei smiled, small and bright, his guilt veiled under adoring eyes. "I'm sorry too. Did you miss me so much, Tang Yi?"

"Shut up. I didn't even know if you were alive."

His visitor laughed, mirthful and disbelieving. "Why do you always keep worrying about that? I'm not a guy who'll die easily, you know?"

"Whatever," Tang Yi replied, smirk in place, a spark of affection in his dark, captivating eyes. "It comes with the territory."

"Uh-huh. Tell me about it, Mr. Cool Ex-Gangsta."

"Stop saying that, Meng Shao Fei," Tang Yi leaned close to the glass wall, closer and closer, until his hand was aligned perfect over Shao Fei's, face inches apart from the barrier between them. "And you _better_ not repeat this again. Even if you can't come, just, let me know. However you can, just let me know that you're alive, and I'll be happy."

"Uh-huh," Shao Fei nodded, his chest feeling light and happy. _The high before the fall._ "If I'm hurt and half my bones are broken, I'm still coming to inform you about it personally, okay?"

  


.

.

**iv.**

"Hey, Tang YI?"

"Hmm?"

Do you... Do you still have those dreams? The ones you told me about?"

"Why're you suddenly asking about that?"

"Uh, no reason. I just thought it was weird, you know? Those were pretty weird dreams."

"Yeah, they were."

"..."

"..."

"Hey, Tang Yi?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I cry in all of them?"

"..."

"Say it. I want to know."

"Why?"

"No reason. Just tell me, please?"

"...Okay. You, you did cry in most of them. In some, you were just sleeping quietly. With me."

"Why did I cry, Tang Yi?"

"I.. don't know. I really don't know, but I remember I was confused, every single time. You look sad in every dream in see."

"... Say, did you see me last night, too?"

"Yeah... This one was a bit different though."

"How so? I wasn't crying?"

"No... not at first. It was like- a dream in a dream. I saw us standing apart, on either side of a glass wall, talking over these prison phones. Then suddenly, there was the sound of a gunshot, and I died."

"...You, you died? In your own dream?"

"Kind of. But then everything went black, and I saw you wake up from _your_ sleep, screaming and crying. It was my dream, but it was different. It's like I saw your dream instead of you, Shao Fei, and that... was a little strange."

  


__

_-_

  


**3) My life's a mess after you. I keep being jealous of everyone, when once those people took confession tips from me. You're the best person who can screw me over the in worst way possible.**

  


**i.**

"A-Fei," Zhao Zi prodded him sharply at the elbow. "A-Fei, you're zoning out again."

  


"Huh?" Shao Fei shook himself aware, and turned to face the inquisitive face of his part-time colleague, full-time friend guiltily. "Sorry, Zhao Zi," he apologised, scrambling randomly through the papers laid in a mess upon the table. "Say, what were we investigating again?"

" _A-Fei_ ," Zhao Zi snatched the papers from his hand, pinning him with a petulant, accusatory glare. He was doing that a lot recently. "A-Fei, stop that. What is going on with you? You've not been home for days now, and if you keep working in this state, you're only going to end up doing more harm than good."

"Huh? I'm fine," Shao Fei retorted flippantly, snatching the documents back to skim through them. "It's just the weather. See how cold it is? I'm afraid I'll freeze my nose off if I even step outside."

"A-Fei, _stop_ that," Zhao Zi's voice rose an octave, whiny and pleading, but firm enough to leave no room for arguments. "Stop doing whatever you're trying to do, and tell me what's wrong. You haven't been okay since the weekend, and it's seriously bothering me. All of us, actually."

Shao Fei looked up, turned his head to inspect the chaotic office surroundings. "No, it doesn't," he concluded finally, chewing on one end of the pen he was thinking of writing with. ''I told you, it's nothing. Now get back to work, and stop bothering me."

Zhao Zi stared at him for a beat, face uncannily cross. Then, leaning down to reach Shao Fei's ear, he softly whispered, "Hey, is this about Tang Yi?"

Shao Fei's hands stilled. "No," he denied immediately, fingers frozen, eyes astray. "Why would _anything_ be about Tang Yi? I just saw him last Saturday, he's fine."

" _Aha_!" Zhao Zi exclaimed, a fist slamming hard on the flat of his palm, an inspired look flitting across his babyish face. "So this _is_ about him. Tell me, A-Fei, what's about him that's bothering you?"

"Hey," Shao Fei snapped, louder than intended. "I told you it's nothi-"

"Officer Meng Shao Fei," Zhao Zi cut in, hands on his desk and face leaning close in a slightly intimidating manner, voice firm and demanding. "I've know you long enough to know when you're lying. Now _spill_."

_What do you even want me to say? Will you believe me if I say Tang Yi's been seeing my dreams? Do I **look** like an idiot?_

Leaning back on his chair carefully, Shao Fei angled his face away from Zhai Zi's with a good distance between them. Fighting to keep his voice from cracking, he remarked, "Zhao Zi, did Jack teach you how to look intimidating during a criminal inquiry? Because if he did, he did a hell of a job there."

Just as Shao Fei hoped and expected, Zhao Zi's entire face reddened like a ripe tomato. _Bless these lovesick idiots._

"A- A-Fei, that's not fair," the younger officer spluttered, and Shao Fei swivelled once in his chair, relieved and victorious. "You- I'm just worried about you, and you're just-"

"What, you lose your tongue whenever he's mentioned?" Shao Fei chuckled, pinching Zhao Zi's nose painfully hard, who winced. "If this continues, you'd die of cardiac arrest if he ever calls you _'boyfriend'_ in public."

"He actually did that, two days before," Zhao Zi admitted regretfully, "And I almost died- the waiter looked so confused, he didn't really get the situation."

Shao Fei burst out laughing, a full-on, belly-clutching laughter. Zhao Zi might not know his problems, but he was a support anyways, in his own, unique manner. Had always been. 

"Hey," he proposed, when he had calmed down, and Zhao Zi was done pouting, albeit a bit sulkily. "What do you say we get out of here and have some lunch? Let me get this finished, and I'll treat you to whatever you want."

As expected, Zhao Zi brightened up like a star at the idea. "Really?" he grinned ear-to-ear, eyes crinkled and excited. "You're not lying, right? Then, just wait a sec, I'll just-" he ran back to his desk, saving the presentation he'd been working on, messing up sheets and sheets of paperwork in his wake. Shao Fei turned to reorganising his papers, and was just stacking them at one side when his friend called out: 

"Hey, can we invite Jack too? I can pay for his share."

"No need for that," Shao Fei swivelled back, bundling up his research. His grin evaporated as quickly as it had came. "It's my treat, so I'll pay. Just don't try to fill up your whole stomach- I don't wanna go broke before the month even begins."

  


.

.

**ii.**

Shao Fei kicked on every stray pebble he could see on the road, chin tucked between his neck, eyes downcast. The autumn trees surrounding the crosswalk littered the area with dry, crunchy leaves, and it was a sight as incredible as it was sad. Imagine, the leaves going too far away from their home to ever come back; what if they had fallen in love with their tree? Would they wait in the hope to be united again, till the moment they died trampled under the feet of an ignorant passer-by?

This was a strange thing of nature; a strange thing of everything, really. Why rear something up only to cast them away to the cold? Why love a person, when the inevitable claims that they must go far away from each other? Why wait, when the future doubts whether their bond would really survive the test of detachment or not?

Why go and treat, when you know that you'd only be hurt and jealous seeing people being happy with each other?

Shao Fei sighed, and pressed a hand flat over his face. The lunch treat for Zhao Zi and Jack had been a very, very bad idea, and for once in his life, it had nothing to do with Zhao Zi's blackhole of an appetite.

"I'm jealous," Shao Fei muttered, face hidden in his hand, breath cold and defeated. "I'm jealous of my best friend and his boyfriend, and I'm even admitting that. What the heck am I doing?"

  


_"Hey, am I late?" Jack clambers up to the sidewalk beside the restaurant, dressed the most casual as Shao Fei's ever seen him. He smiles his signature, quiet grin at the officer, then pecks Zhao Zi on the cheek as naturally as it came to him. Zhao Zi blushes a bright red, almost melting in a pool of happiness and embarrassment, and Shao Fei just looks._

_"So, ready for lunch? Let's get going," he says, and the trio start walking towards the cosy diner just around the block._

  


_(Tang Yi wasn't too big on PDA, but he loved to kiss Shao Fei like that when they were cooking.)_

  


"No," Shao Fei mumbles, lost in a sea of painful flashbacks. "Stop thinking. Just, stop."

  


_"Hey," Zhao Zi wraps a small arm around Jack's biceps, and tugs him hard towards himself. "I told you I could pay for your share. Why do you still want to pay?"_

_"Well, isn't it obvious?" Jack replies, eerie smile still in place, but eyes a touch bit affectionate. "I've treated you to lunch forever. And I'm working part-time now- so when you don't need me to treat you, I can just pay for myself."_

__

_"No," Zhao Zi pouted, small and petulant. "Let me treat you once in a while."_

_Jack grins wider, sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight, and bends down to leave a small kiss on top of Zhao Zi's forehead. "Thanks," he says, as Zhao Zi blushes, "But I can take care of myself."_

_Shao Fei waits a beat, then loudly clears his throat. "I appreciate both of your concerns," he says in a hard voice that leaves no room for arguments, "But I am treating the three of us today, so shut up and order away."_

_  
_

_Treating to lunch, my ass._ If he wasn't a fool big enough, he could have saved much of his salary today.

. 

_("Then, I'll treat you to lunch," Shao Fei extends a hand to the well-suited mob leader, knowing full well that Tang Yi would decline his request. He just needs one more reason to add to his millions to hate Tang Yi, and he'd be out of his debt for life._

_Tang Yi stares at his hand for a moment. Then, surprising everyone present in the room, including Shao Fei, says, "Okay. Let's go." He shakes his outstretched hand in a firm, brief grip, and briskly walks out of the door._

_Shao Fei looks at Tang Yi's wake, dumbfounded. Then, closing his mouth that had fell open, quickly follows suit.)_

. 

Even uptil that moment, and several after, Shao Fei didn't know how much that lunch would come to change everything between him and Tang Yi. That it'd be a start, of _them_. That it'd be the start of a change- from a police and a gangster, to just Tang Yi and Meng Shao Fei. Two poles on opposite sides of a coin, destined to contradict, be repulsed, but still somehow together. 

  


He didn't know it then, but he knows it now. Knows how important that lunch was, for him and for them. And when he sees other people enjoying that, especially when he's lost what was his before, it's deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

Damn, he was so jealous. Of Zhao Zi, and Jack, and what they didn't realise they had. So stupid, and so, so _jealous_.

  


"No, no, stop. Just _shut up_ ," he mutters to his hand again, shaking his head to get those thoughts out of his system."What am I thinking? Just what the heck is wrong with me?"

A dry, crimson leaf fell away from its branch, touching the ground only to be trampled under the old brown boots of Shao Fei's unaware footsteps.

  
_Seriously, Meng Shao Fei- what the fuck is wrong with you?_

.

.

__

_/ / /_

  


**Interlude: Dream**

  


"Why are _you_ here? Where's Shao Fei?"

"...Tang Yi, I'm sorry."

  


.

"Zhao Zi," Shao Fei heard his voice travel through the unruly static, body tensed, senses alert. "Are you in position? You're keeping the time, right?"

"Yeah," Zhao Zi's voice crackled through the earpiece. "A-Fei, be careful."

"Don't worry about it," Shao Fei licked the dryness from his lips, gun held loaded and ready. "Just time me."

"Okay. One, two.. and three. Go."

Shao Fei leapt from his hiding place behind the car shed, and ran to the doors of the half-abandoned bank office. Hands in front and outstretched, he kicked through the rusting lock on the entrance, and clambered into the darkness, feet agile as a cat. Got in an offensive position, and breathed in. Deep. The smell of dirt and blood and cheap alcohol infiltrated his nostrils, and he smirked. They were in the right place, after all.

"Zhao Zi, get in here. You might wanna check this place out a bit."

Zhao Zi's reply was half-lost in the static, but Shao Fei heard his advancing footfalls outside, alongside several others. The younger officer worked his way through the shed into the targeted building, and Shao Fei turned around, the proud smirk of discovering the hideout of a wanted drug circle firm in place.

Suddenly, a loud gunshot reverberated in the lightless room. A sharp pain penetrated his body impossibly deep, and as if the sunlight crumbled like cracked mirrors, Shao Fei's world turned dark.

There was a scream, a shout or two; the echoes of several people invaded his ears all at once, loud but dim. The junior officers of his team broke into the building, the law-breaking hooligans retreating somewhere back. Some one caught him before his body crumpled to the floor, unconscious, and just as he felt like he was dying, his own words came haunting back to him.

  


_"You, you died in your own dream?"_

  


It had been a surprise, back when he had said it. Now though, Shao Fei wishes desperately to find himself in a dying dream, against dying in a reality where Tang Yi still existed. Just let him live; just a bit more. For Tang Yi. It was painful to die; but it was better dying in a dream than in a reality where Tang Yi still existed.

  
_(A tall man with wind-swept hair sits lonely in a chair, on the criminal side of the glass. He looks up at his face, waves a small goodbye; and as Shao Fei turns, the last visitor of the day, the loneliness creeps back into Tang Yi's eyes, lips thinning into slits as hard as stone.)_

  


.

.

__

_/ / /_

  


**4) I see you in my dreams, laughing and dying. But when you see me seeing you, it's just weird. Because we're not together. Not yet.**

  


**i.**

Meng Shao Fei was late, _again_. And it was only a week ago that he had promised to be punctual.

Tang Yi sighed, leaning low on the hard bench kept outside the pristine visitor's room. The guards gave him a call whenever Shao Fei was in a one-mile radius, and it had been fifteen days since one of them last came to check up on him. Keeping a track of days has became easier since he came here, and now he values every second he spends, because he knows that after a million and one of them, he'd get to see Shao Fei's face again. He's a lot more careful with time now, even though he was punctual than most before. Maybe prison just did that to people.

His stay in prison hadn't, however, cured Shao Fei's punctuality, or lack thereof. That man was a bit of an enigma.

As the clock ticked into the last twenty minutes of the visiting hours, Tang Yi got up from his seat, ready to leave. As he turned though, he heard the footfall of police boots behind, and a familiar guard tapped him on the shoulder, a grim frown hiding away his usual warm smile.

"Come. You have a visitor."

Taken aback, and a bit puzzled, Tang Yi walked to the doors of the room ahead, escorted by the busy guard to his usual revolving seat. He took up his phone, pressed the button; and when he looked through the glass and faced his visitor, the clouds of confusion receded, and a slow poison of suspicion and dread seared like needles through his skin.

"Jack."

"Ex-Boss," the red-haired, perpetually smiling man nodded him a greeting, his otherwise constant smile nowhere to be seen. The world had turned grim somehow, turned upside-down on the twentieth minute, and Tang Yi had rarely been more confused than this in his life before.

"Jack," Tang Yi intoned, voice hard and cold over the phone line. "Why are _you_ here? Where's Shao Fei?"

Jack took a moment to stare inscrutably at his face, red hair dishevelled, shoulders rigid. Slowly, he let out a long, low breath, and met Tang Yi's eyes with distinct regret and apology.

"Tang Yi, I'm sorry."

Tang Yi's hand froze over the receiver, eyes widening deceptively low. Jack gave him a moment to collect his bearings- which was fruitless, because Tang Yi's brain had gone as blank as a wiped blackboard- and then took to elaborating the story as delicately as possible, before Tang Yi troubled himself asking for it.

"It was a secret infiltration of sorts," he said, voice sincere and firm, free hand buried snug into the cave of his pocket. "Zhao Zi and Shao Fei had been working on it for the past three months, and had confirmed the activities of a drug circle being active nearby. It was a local gang, nothing too big, but with criminal potential, and comprising of a bunch of repeat federal offenders. They were investigating them for a long time, but the gang knew how to cover their tracks. Not unlike our very own group," Jack sighed, paused, and continued.

"It seems they locked their hideout last week. Zhao Zi said they were going to infiltrate the place, take everything into custody and stuff. Shao Fei was there, along with a few dozen officers. Everything was going well, and they broke into the building, but..."

"What?" Tang Yi demanded, face immovable. "Don't stop there, say it."

Jack sighed yet again, and ran a hand through his locks. "Shao Fei was shot. Through his abdomen. It was just one bullet, but the position of the injury was critical. The doctors operated on him as soon as he was taken to the hospital, and they took the bullet out. He needs about a month-long bedrest to properly heal, but they give him a 50-50 chance of getting back to his profession. Sho Fei might.. have to stop being an officer after this."

A mute silence prevailed over the phone line, both sides looking blankly at each other. Tang Yi stared long and hard at Jack's unsmiling face, then closed his eyes. Took a deep breath, and put the receiver down.

 _Thank you_ , he softly mouthed as he turned away, and left the visitor's room with his guard, the prone figure of Jack staring sadly at his wake.

.

.

**ii.**

He wanted to scream.

He wanted to scream his guts out, to rip his voice hoarse, to shatter the apathetic silence of the cell- so he did just that. Tang Yi screamed; he screamed through his tears, face buried into his pillow so that the guards wouldn't be roused. His head felt close to exploding, a twisted pain clogging his heart vessels, hands trembling within fistfuls of dark wind-swept hair. He cried, the hardest he had in a long time, for Shao Fei, for his life and safety, and for not being there for him. He cried at his own inability, for his tied hands and feet, for the pain Shao Fei must've gone through alone. He was almost over it, but on nights as dark and strange as these, the memories came flashing through his head; slicing at his sanity like jagged blades, reminding him over and over of why he was stuck here in the first place.

Shooting a bullet at Shao Fei, albeit accidentally, had been one of the worst mistakes of his life. And even after one and a half years, he was still paying for his actions over and over again.

He didn't want Shao Fei to go through it again; didn't want to see his face twist in a pain more excruciating than how he saw it did a year ago. He didn't want him to be hurt, to be sad, to die- and the only reason he could sleep a few hours in his cell was the consolation that Shao Fei was strong enough to survive. Without him. Countless times in the past, the man had displayed his natural strength and will power to live, had surprised Tang Yi out of his wits at how astute and stubborn and enduring he could be. The only reason prison life wasn't hell was because Tang Yi had believed in Shao Fei, in his strength, to protect himself and to live. The sole reason he was breaking down like this was also because he had realised how unfounded his beliefs might have been, even for Shao Fei.

At the end of the day, Meng Shao Fei was human, even if Tang Yi claimed that he was one of the strongest people he's ever met in his life. By strong he didn't mean only physically, and by that he didn't mean that Shao Fei wasn't physically strong. Shao Fei was both and beyond, as if living only to transcend all humane barriers of perseverance and kindness that Tang Yi had set around himself after so many life-experiences. His life hadn't given him less of blood and betrayal and back-handed stabs, but Shao Fei lived to counter them all, a blind believer of the existence of the good and kind in the twisted, surrounding world. 

In Tang Yi's life, Shao Fei stood for many things; for life, for death, and for all those in between. Whenever he imagined a future out of this place, he had seen it of himself standing beside Shao Fei, and Shao Fei standing beside him. He was present in all his dreams, and in all of those which turned into a nightmare; Shao Fei was present in everything Tang Yi did, and maybe it was those beliefs that were causing him such pain now.

Tang Yi had always imagined Shao Fei there, in all his strength and vulnerability, which is why the thought of him dying or handicapped was not one he could ever consider. No, he couldn't. It was possible for a man to die, to pass away or be disabled; but that man was not Shao Fei. The only thing Shao Fei could ever die from was his own clumsiness, or a broken thumb. Nothing below that. A gunshot was nothing Shao Fei couldn't, or hadn't handled before, and being out of commission due to it was ludicrous. Shao Fei wouldn't let himself fall down just because of a stupid gunshot; if he had survived Tang Yi with all of his mistakes and shortcomings, then he could like hell survive this.

He had to.

Tang Yi cried, even as the tears started to dry up. It was the third night already, but the pain hadn't dimmed a bit.

  


_("Tang Yi," Shao Fei whispered, cream and crimson petals lying still over his soft, messy locks, "If I ever die, will you be okay by yourself?"_

_Tang Yi sat down upon the lush grassy carpet, and hit Shao Fei hard in the head. "What do you think?" he said, voice light. "I survived alone for so many years, I can do that a bit more."_

_Shao Fei sighed. "Good," he remarked, sounding relieved. "I won't worry about you being alone then."_

_Tang Yi stared at the person beside him for a beat. At the person he valued the most in the world. Then, he punched Shao Fei hard on the head again._

_"Shao Fei," he said, voice serious, "Without you, half the life would be gone from me. So don't you even **think** about dying.")_

.

That night, as he let himself slip into a fitful slumber, Tang Yi dreamed. And it was the last night he ever dreamt of Shao Fei again.

.

  


**iii.**

_With soft, baby steps, Tang Yi walked through the grassy glade, mystified. It was a colourful, vivid dream, but he was well aware of the fact that he was, in all reality, sound asleep. And dreaming. It had happened to him once or twice before, where he just knew about his subconscious disposition, and the fact that he won't remember any of it when he woke up. Of late, his dreams had been colourless as well, drenched in dark, light, greyish shades, with the occasional touch of crimson. In short, nothing about this dream was normal for him, and he didn't quite understand why he was seeing it tonight, now of all times._

_The grassy valley gave rise to a small hill, littered with blooming flowers and newborn saplings; and just over that, he spotted Shao Fei, sitting prone against a blossoming evergreen tree. At once, his confusion forgotten, he sprinted all the way to the mountain, a trail of plucked leaves floating away on his wake._

"Shao Fei."

_Shao Fei stirred, opened his eyes that were asleep a moment ago. He turned his head to glance at Tang Yi standing a foot away from him, panting and sweating and exhilarated, and gasped._

"Tang Yi!"

"Hi," _Tang Yi smiled, bending down to sit on the grass beside Shao Fei, a horde of white and crimson petals showering over his head._ "What are you doing here?"

"I should be the one asking you that," _Shao Fei replied, a hand clasping both of Tang Yi's in a rigid grip._ "Don't you know, I'm hurt? I was shot, so I'm lying in a hospital, and dreaming. But you're dead in my dreams, Tang Yi; so what exactly are you doing here?"

 _Tang Yi stared at Shao Fei, fleetingly wondering whether Shao Fei had lost his mind._ "But, this is my dream, too," _he replied at length,_ "And, two people aren't supposed to have same dreams at the same time, together... Right?"

"Who knows?" _Shao Fei shrugged, looking away to gaze at the beautiful vanishing horizon, and back at him._ "My life's been pretty messed up the last few days, so, I'm just happy that you're here. I don't care about dreams, or how you're here. I'm just happy."

 _Tang Yi glanced at the pale blue sky, the smell of spring and summer floating in the wind._ "Me too," _he replied, deciding to let go for once, and kissed the hand that held his in a pale, rigid grip._

"Me too. I'm happy here."

.

.

  


"Shao Fei?"

"Yeah?"

"You said you were hurt. Are you in pain? Do you feel like dying?"

 _Shao Fei laughed, bright but sad._ "Yeah," _he said, clasping Tang Yi's hands tighter._ "It actually feels like death. Like, really, I'm used to bullets, but it never gets less painful. I'm especially sad because you're not there beside me, you know?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Tang Yi. I understand."

_Tang Yi shifted closer to Shao Fei, snuggling up to his slightly smaller body, leaning his head against a sturdy shoulder. He looked out into the valley, blossoming and bright, experiencing the kind of serenity he felt only sometimes, only with the silences he shared over the phone with Shao Fei. He let out a deep breath, and closed his eyes._

"Tang Yi, I have something to tell you."

"Hmm? What is it?"

"I," _Shao Fei shifted, and Tang Yi got up to properly look at his face._ "I didn't say it before but, I have dreams about you too, every night. They're nightmares, mostly, and I usually wake up crying... The strange thing is, I think you have the same dreams as I do." _The younger looked at Tang Yi with wide, deep brown eyes, and Tang Yi stared back, quizzed._ "I think we have the same dreams, and more. I think _you_ can see me _after_ I wake up, too, which is why you see me crying often. It's strange, strange and kind of magical; don't you think so, Tang Yi?"

"See you _after_ you're awake?" _Tang Yi shook his head._ "But that's not possible. I have my own dreams, Shao Fei, and you cry in them all."

_Shao Fei looked at him, focused and searching; at last he gave a small huff, and shrugged._

"Maybe you're right," _he agreed nonchalantly,_ "But you can't deny the fact that we're connected somehow, you know? Through magic, dreams, anything. We're connected beyond what we realise, and it's time we understood that, I think."

"If what you say is true," _Tang Yi remarked, wrapping his arms around Shao Fei's shoulders, hugging him to sleep like a clingy koala bear,_ "If we're really connected like that, beyond our physical bodies, then I'm happy. I'm really happy that I'm connected to you, Shao Fei, because this way, I'll miss you less when you're away from me. I wouldn't even worry about you being alive."

"Oh?" _Shao Fei laughed, wrapping his hands around his boyfriend as well._ "Didn't it naturally come with the territory?"

"That's my _territory_. We're talking about my world here."

.

.

  


**iv.**

Tang Yi woke up slowly, face muffled into his pillow, cheeks smeared with dry tear-tracks. He sat up on his bed, and ruffled his hair. Rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and thought hard about the dream he had last night.

It had been a strange dream, but stranger was the fact that Shao Fei hadn't been in it. Tang Yi didn't remember dreams well, but he remembers that the last time he saw Shao Fei in one had been thirty-six days before. He had difficulty remembering that dream, except that it had left him dizzy, and happy, and with a lot less pain than before. Each day after that, he had been spending hours alone in his cell, devoting the time of the day solely to himself. He was trying to feel what it was like, a life without Shao Fei, with all of its grief and difficulties, and trying to survive in his own way. He wanted Shao Fei to be strong, for both of them, but he needed to be that too. For him.

If Shao Fei could be strong enough to survive without him, then he should be strong enough to live for him. It was only fair.

Tang Yi got up, and went about his usual business. A walk around the stone-walled grounds, a short, cleansing bath, and then some idle time alone. These days, he liked to walk around the visitor's rooms, and peek into the conversations other people had with their loved ones. Criminals. He missed that, even though Zhao Zi and Jack had visited him at least a couple of times in the last month. He was okay though; he knew Shao Fei was alive, knew that the pain would go away someday, and if Shao Fei never came back again, he wouldn't be too unhappy. Not _too much_ , anyway.

 _We are connected, after all._ Tang Yi doesn't know who had said it, or when, or how; but somehow, those words had stuck. They were his strength now.

Still though, he would never stop missing Shao Fei. He really hoped he wouldn't have to leave his job as an officer due to his injury.

"Hey, you! Wait!"

Tang Yi turned. A familiar old guard was running towards him, his usual smile back in place.

"Come," he said, twirling a sturdy cane happily in his hands. "You have a visitor."

"Today?" Tang Yi asked, surprised, and the guard nodded. This was strange, because Jack had visited him just a day before, and Zhao Zi probably wouldn't come visit him alone. Hong Ye was still sorting out some business in London, and these were pretty much the only people who had any business visiting him in prison. Confused, Tang Yi let himself be led into the ever-familiar room and at his usual revolving seat, but before he could pick up the phone, he had stolen a glance at his visitor, and it was of enough of a shock to him to have the receiver slip between his fingers with a careless crash.

"Shao Fei!" 

Meng Shao Fei grinned, a wide, big, toothy grin, and motioned with his fingers for Tang Yi to pick up the phone. "Hi there," he greeted, when Tang Yi had finally gathered his bearings, pressing the phone viciously against his cheek. "How're you holding up? Missed me?"

"No," Tang Yi replied, his own lips stretched into a mad, ecstatic smile. "I wanted to kill you when you came back. How many times do you intend on letting yourself be shot at? Aren't you a police officer?"

"What, a police officer can't get shot?" Shao Fei laughed. "That's severe discrimination, you know? Maybe I should advocate for that cause too, with all the real-life experience I have in it."

"Try it," Tang Yi replied, and then frowned a little. "Shao Fei, you still have your job, right?"

Shao Fei's eyes widened, and he blinked. "Oh, so Jack told you," he said, shaking his head, smiling ruefully. "I told him you'd be worried, but he did so anyway. Maybe Zhao Zi has influenced him a bit too, that loud blabbermouth."

"So, are you an officer or not?"

"Tang Yi," Shao Fei intoned in a serious voice, and then thumped his chest, smiling proudly. "Meng Shao Fei is nothing if not strong and not a police officer! Bullets are nothing that can hurt me, and losing my job over them is unheard of! Don't ever, ever even think of that possibility for a second."

"Yeah," Tang Yi smirked, loftily leaning back against his chair, chest almost bursting with the light and happiness that kept on building inside him. "The only things that can kill you is a broken thumb and your own clumsiness."

"Hey," Shao Fei exclaimed, then smiled. "You forgot one thing."

"What?"

Shao Fei looked long and hard at him, a meaningful stare. Tang Yi stared right back at him, daring him to say it. _You_ , the silence between them whispered, _because we are connected._ It wasn't the truth though. Shao Fei was strong, stronger than him, and Tang Yi knew it. He had been trying to be that himself, trying to be strong enough, trying to use their connection as his strength to live alone when hard times called for it. All this time, _they_ had been a weakness to him, a vulnerable spot, an unforseen enemy's sure target to victory- but he had changed that. He had changed _them_ to his strength instead of his sole Achilles' Heel, and Tang Yi knew Shao Fei could do that too. Shao Fei could do that whenever he wanted, because he was stronger than him. Had always been.

_Say it,_ Tang Yi wished fervently, in a last bid to return to how they were before. _Say it, and rewind things back again. Let's go back to how we were before, you and me. Let's take that vacation while we still have the chance for it._

__

Shao Fei sighed. "Forget it," he said, "I've waited years for you, and am waiting still. I'm strong enough to survive through everything else."

Tang Yi breathed in, deep. The next time he released it, the tenseness had left his shoulders, head light, and the tightness inside his heart had burst into a shower of sprinkles, life and happiness.

  


_Shao Fei had been right, they could never return to what they were before. But now, because of their connection, at least they had the chance to evolve._

And they could have that vacation still, albeit a bit differently; and that was a future better than anything else that Tang Yi could have ever imagined.

  


**Author's Note:**

> So, if anyone's reading this, that means you've finished reading this story. Which is actually a pretty great feat, I cannot thank you enough. I really hope it didn't end up being too much of a disappointment. 
> 
> I will go through the grammatical errors later, but if any of you liked this, I would love it if you left a comment or two! Kudos and bookmarks are also greatly appreciated! 
> 
> See you later! Hope you all have a great day/night! :)))


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